I peel the potatoes, cut them into evenly sized chunks, and drop them into a big pot. I cover them with cold water and add a good pinch of salt. Starting cold helps them cook evenly, even if I forget why halfway through.

I bring the pot to a boil, then turn it down to a gentle simmer. They cook for about 15 to 20 minutes, until a knife slides in easily with no resistance. If the knife fights back, they’re not ready.

I drain the potatoes and put the empty pot back on low heat. Then I toss the drained potatoes back in and gently move them around for a minute or two. This dries off extra moisture so the mash doesn’t turn watery later.

While the potatoes are still hot, I run them through a potato ricer or food mill back into the pot. I don’t use a hand masher or mixer here because that’s how gluey sadness happens.

I stir in the cold butter cubes while the potatoes are hot, using a wooden spoon. I mix until the butter melts and everything starts looking smooth and glossy.

I pour in the milk and heavy cream and gently stir until the potatoes absorb the liquid and turn silky. I add it gradually so I don’t go too far and regret my choices.

I season with salt and white pepper, taste, and adjust because past-me has under-seasoned before. Right before serving, I stir in the chopped chives or green onions for a little freshness and crunch.